Christianity need not retreat from investigation. Its central claim is that the Word became flesh, entered history, was crucified, and on the third day rose from the dead. That is not an embarrassment to be overcome. It is the claim we have been given to declare and defend.
In the end, your story isn’t an epic of personal glory. You aren’t the hero. Your Savior Jesus is.
Whether a Christian enjoys high church, low church, or something in between, aesthetics in the Church are not about any one individual person and their particular tastes. Aesthetics are, fundamentally, not a matter of legalism, but of edification—that the Gospel of Christ might be preached and taught to all peoples, unhindered by its medium.

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Jesus Christ has finished his work of delivering you from the consequences of your sins and the brokenness of this fallen world.
What is supposed to be given by Christ through us for neighbor is used up by us, twisted for our righteous gain.
Rather than validate our selfish, self-serving choices, he justifies us by giving us new life and baptizing us into his death and resurrection.
Here’s a little “devotional” for you; some thoughts on Law and Gospel from Gerhard Forde. Drink deep, drink full. These are rich streams of thought.
A person, not a nation, can be a Christian because only a person can be saved by grace through faith in the work of Christ.
As I weigh briefly here the advantages and disadvantages of preaching original sin and preaching actual sin, I don’t mean to argue for one and against the other. Instead, I mean to suggest a benefit in focusing a given sermon on one or the other, and that neither type of sermon should be the only type a Christian hears.
In this religious Sodom, we had a Jesus with the heart of Moses whose gospel was a new and improved law.
All God's fatherly goodness and mercy is concrete and real, born of a virgin, crucified for our trespasses, raised for our justification.
Only the ministry of the Gospel can forgive sins, even while civil government rightly carries out retribution for lawlessness and disobedience.
Our righteousness and the righteousness of our neighbor have nothing to do with what we eat or do not eat.
The whole Reformation, and the reason for Lutheran theology at all, is to improve preaching.
When the church has gone astray, it has been the responsible (not slavish) approach to history that has helped correct the course.