Christianity need not retreat from investigation. Its central claim is that the Word became flesh, entered history, was crucified, and on the third day rose from the dead. That is not an embarrassment to be overcome. It is the claim we have been given to declare and defend.
In the end, your story isn’t an epic of personal glory. You aren’t the hero. Your Savior Jesus is.
Whether a Christian enjoys high church, low church, or something in between, aesthetics in the Church are not about any one individual person and their particular tastes. Aesthetics are, fundamentally, not a matter of legalism, but of edification—that the Gospel of Christ might be preached and taught to all peoples, unhindered by its medium.

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You are in a fight, but the victory is guaranteed because it is in the hands of the risen Chief Shepherd.
The kingdom of Christ is realized where nothing but comfort and the forgiveness of sins reign not only in words to proclaim it, which is also necessary; but also in deed.
The gospel is a one-way rescue by God, through Jesus, for sinners, courtesy of the Holy Spirit exploding faith into an individual who is hearing the good news.
Whatever theoretical or conceptual ideas to which we surrender in despair, the Christian faith offers something wholly different. It offers a person.
Squander. What a great word. It so perfectly captures the pitfalls of backsliding in all areas of life. It's the utter self-ruination of good things.
We still think that if we just teach people to "be good" we are getting them closer to God, which is like saying if only this dead person could be propped up to exercise, he would start moving again.
The following is an excerpt adapted from “Let the Bird Fly” written by Wade Johnston (1517 Publishing, 2019).
Perhaps the most poisonous venom to afflict the gospel is the notion of "balancing" grace.
I had been taught and believed in a God who is love, but as I walked outside that night I did not see him. I saw the stars and I felt their indifference.
Jesus does not say to us, “Try really hard, and you will be better.”
We walk to the cross by the faith that God bestows on us, not by our own power, reason, or might.
After the glory of our flesh has gone the way of wilted grass and faded flowers, and we’ve long forgotten all our efforts at self-justification, the word of the Lord remains.