Christianity need not retreat from investigation. Its central claim is that the Word became flesh, entered history, was crucified, and on the third day rose from the dead. That is not an embarrassment to be overcome. It is the claim we have been given to declare and defend.
In the end, your story isn’t an epic of personal glory. You aren’t the hero. Your Savior Jesus is.
Whether a Christian enjoys high church, low church, or something in between, aesthetics in the Church are not about any one individual person and their particular tastes. Aesthetics are, fundamentally, not a matter of legalism, but of edification—that the Gospel of Christ might be preached and taught to all peoples, unhindered by its medium.

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The Law must attack because nothing outside of Christ can enter Heaven—nothing!
Jesus’ sacrificial death is the perfect sacrifice because He is sinless, the spotless Lamb, and it is for you.
God has given us a way out of our plight of “ashes to ashes, dust to dust.” It is the way of the cross.
Gone, abolished, put away with, undone, and destroyed are any and all notions that my repentance unlocks, sets free, or earns God’s forgiveness.
Every day for the baptized is a good day to die."
Neither did Christ’s absolution “run out” nor “reach a limit” due to Judas’ sin.
Repentance is not a call to improve. It is a call to die.
The following excerpt comes from Chapter 7, “When Love Repents Us,” in Chad Bird’s new book, Night Driving: Notes from a Prodigal Soul.
Recovery helps us see beauty in the ordinary; the miracle and wonder of creation in the oak leaf or the evergreen needle.
There is a mirror that we Christians look into with daily repentance.
Our Lord has told us not to make these fine distinctions in grades of sin.
What would be a fitting thing to give up, especially during the season of Lent?