I pray my children see God’s faithfulness not in the riches of this world, but in the riches of grace through Christ Jesus.
Last spring, I vividly remember packing boxes in the boy’s playroom. With boys from teens to toddlers, we had a wide array of toys. But Legos are by far the most loved in our house. They seem to span the ages from children to adults, with the vast amount of sets now available on the shelves. Even my husband still loves to build a LEGO set.
I spent a considerable amount of time wrapping already-assembled sets in Saran Wrap and carefully placing them in the boxes, with blankets and clothes to buffer them. All this in the hopes that once we pulled them out on the other side of the country, they would be mostly intact. While it was time-consuming, the hours I spent packing Legos in the playroom were the easy part of moving my boys across the country.
We’ve done big moves with children before. But for the most part, they were babies and toddlers. When my husband finished seminary and we moved to New Jersey, my oldest kids were only in first and second grade. But that was eight years ago… last spring, I looked out at those same children, and they didn’t have little faces with missing-teeth grins anymore; I was looking at teenage faces, on the brink of turning into young men. And I was about to uproot all they had known the past eight years and take them across the country. We would be moving them away from their schools and friends. We would be leaving the support network of families we had in the community. I was worried about moving a sophomore, a freshman, and a seventh grader away from the lives we had built in Jersey. Those ages are hard in general! But they are especially hard ages to make friends and to establish yourself in a new community.
After much prayer and consideration, moving to serve in Washington State was where we felt God leading us, and that this was the right time. But as a mama to my boys, it was really hard not to worry about them. So as I worried, shed some tears, and fussed with Legos in the basement, God gave me this prayer for them.
“Lord, you have shown me your faithfulness. In this hard season, I pray you will show my children your faithfulness.”
It became a daily prayer, “Lord, show my boys your faithfulness to them.”
It will soon be a year since I packed those boxes and started praying this prayer. We have experienced some high highs, some lows, many tears, and everything in between. I look at my boys, and I am so thankful for them. They drive me nuts, and they are absolutely amazing. They have done well, they are a part of our new church, they are keeping up with school, and they have made some friends. But I would be lying if I didn’t say it wasn’t hard, and if I didn’t say that some days are still really hard. There is still a lot of adjusting. There is still loneliness. I’m still praying for some good friends for a few of my boys.
If I’m truthful, I don’t know if they feel the faithfulness of God yet. I don’t know if some of the ways I have seen God’s hand in our move look like God’s faithfulness to them. Thinking about my kids, I was asking myself this question this week: how are my kids truly doing? Has God shown up in the way I have been hoping for them?
I wondered, “What am I hoping for them?” As I wrestled, God convicted me of this: amazing friends, a love for their new city, and caring teachers isn’t what proves the faithfulness of God. These things are all wonderful, and we can praise and thank God for such good gifts! But having everything fall into place isn’t the ultimate solution for faith. Getting what we want doesn’t equal faith.
Instead God shows his faithfulness through the saving work of Christ on our behalf. God remains faithful through his unfailing promises even when we are experiencing highs and lows. This is why Lutherans so often say, “Remember your baptism.” I was puzzled by this statement when I was new to Lutheran theology, but I have come to understand that it points us back to the work of Christ, which is the same for me today, tomorrow, and always. Such work is equally a gift for my children. No matter our age, we need to hear that God is actively at work in and for each of us.
As Philippians 1:6-7 states: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel.”
As children of God, we are partakers of grace. He who began a good work in us will complete it. Through baptism, when I was washed of my sins and given Christ, God’s faithfulness was tangibly on display. This is the truth I want my children to rest in.
As much as I want to spare my children every difficulty, what I want most for them is to be assured of Jesus at such a deep level that no matter the storms that come, they can remember their baptism, remember Christ’s work on their behalf, and know that God is bigger than any sin, trial, and valley that they are in the midst of. I also must admit that I have a limited view of my children and what they need. God cares about my children and their needs; he knows what they need better than I do.
After dinner one night, I was sitting with one of my teens, talking about the week, I could see the frustration and hurt on his face. How I wanted to fix it, to take it from him, to just give him an ice cream carton and a spoon to soothe the hurt and tell him everything would work out just fine. Instead, I gave him a good hug, I pointed him to the one who is able to soothe his hurts, and we prayed together. I told him to take it all to Jesus, and to pull out his Bible and see what God has to say in there.
He didn’t love the answer at first. Maybe he still doesn’t love the answer. But I know through it all, I need Jesus, and I need his Word, and ultimately that is what my kids need too.
While I’m in the middle of the highs and lows of parenting teens, and worrying that I’m screwing this all up, I need to be reminded of Jesus. He’s drowned my sins in the waters of my baptism and brought me to life in Jesus Christ. Jesus is faithful when I get it right with my kids and when I have made a mess of things. Jesus is faithful to my kids when I am not. He is faithful not because he is making everything easy or perfect in our situations, but because he is our perfection, he is our rock and our refuge in times of trouble. I pray my children see God’s faithfulness not in the riches of this world, but in the riches of grace through Christ Jesus. (And of course, a little ice cream wouldn’t hurt either. Perhaps I’ll get my kids ice cream spoons engraved with “Remember your Baptism.”)
