Over the next few weeks, we will be releasing excerpts from Donovan Riley’s new book, “Withertongue Emails,” which will be available on March 15th. Here is the third installment.

A reminder to the reader that this is a satire. It is a darkly humorous look at the trials and temptations of a young pastor, who represents every pastor at some point in his ministry. But, in my experience, every Christian will relate to what they read herein because, for every hour of our life, we are attacked. We are chased and hunted down by Satan's agents. And if God did not intervene to strengthen us to withstand temptation, we would be quickly overcome and ruined.

So each email entry in this book is intended to compel the reader to stop and think about their pastor, themselves, and their churches in light of the dangers and temptations which every Christian must bear.

Subject Line: The Enemy is manipulating you

My dear Filthpit,

What have you done, Filthpit? Your young pastor was almost finished. He was drinking heavily. He indulged his cravings with total abandon. He was even forming a cult of personality around himself at his church. But now, it seems he has escaped from the trap you laid for him! The situation is dire. You note in your previous email that the man is actually horrified by his past choices. This is when the Enemy is most dangerous, Filthpit. You don't know him as I do. It is not beneath him to manipulate events, to exploit your inexperience, in order to bring your young pastor to repentance. Do not allow him to escape, or there will be hell to pay for you.

Your proud teacher,

Withertongue

Professor and Chair, Department of Pastoral Abuse

phone: (666) 738-1318 ext. 3721

email: tongue.wither@gehennaseminary.edu