Through our own repentance and through the repentance of those whose faith struggles we share, we come to know how the Holy Spirit works and how precious our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, really is.
Life seems easier when we do not rock the boat. We want people around us to say nice things to us, and we usually hesitate to provoke those around us with any unpleasant comments or observations. In general, that is a good policy. It is said hypocrisy is the glue that holds society together. The problem is, it lays a very shaky foundation for relationships when they are tested by crisis. Hypocrisy suffices when trust is not necessary, but it corrupts and destroys when life together ventures into troubled waters. Honesty is, in the end, the best policy. Honesty can be practiced with blunt force, and it can be carried out with finesse if it comes alive with respect and consideration of the circumstances of the other person. It is often a challenge in daily life to choose the right way and the proper time to speak clearly with our conversation partners.
Christians face the dilemma of when to speak and not to speak at times when family, friends, or acquaintances are soiling their own lives (and perhaps the lives of others) with behavior that undercuts their relationship with the Creator who designed their lives to be other than some aspect of the life they are living. It is risky to call those whom we know to a turn back to God in their lives, for their diversions from His plan for life are well-grounded in their own (to be sure, misshapen) feelings and experiences, in the logic of their thinking of success and safety in life.
Instances where a member of our families or our circle of friends have no one else to point out the harmfulness of habits inbred of old or freshly acquired abound in the experience of all believers. Sometimes we have spoken; sometimes we have not. South African author Alan Paton’s novel, Too Late the Phalarope, records the regret of the aunt of an Afrikaans policeman. She described the role she could have played in his life with a comparison to the bird that sounds warnings. She had failed to sing a song of warning, to chirp a call to repentance, which could have prevented her nephew from bringing disaster upon himself and his family. The opportunities to serve as a phalarope in the lives of those around us may be rare for some believers, more frequent for others. Therefore, being sensitive to the poisons being ingested by those we know is important for people who are feeding on breads of death and affected by their sinful actions. They may have only one lone phalarope in their lives, a sentinel who can stop a life headed for the brink or simply corrupting self and others. There may be only one whose voice can penetrate the darkness which has enveloped our family member or friend.
Indeed, chance encounters with people we hardly know sometimes give us opportunity to give them pause when we call attention to behavior that is unacceptable in God’s design for human life. When people are meandering or rushing toward a cliff of destruction, a word or gesture reflecting a contrasting way of life can open up pondering or discussing God’s plans for our behavior. This can ultimately mean the difference between eternal life and eternal death. Instances where strangers chance across our path with offensive words and actions can be met with a gentle, “In our family we never learned to say (or do) such things,” a seemingly casual observation that may be the only opportunity for this other person to realize what he or she is saying or doing is not normal. The Holy Spirit chooses believers to open up precisely such opportunities for those outside the faith to catch a bit of conversation with God.
The Holy Spirit chooses believers to open up precisely such opportunities for those outside the faith to catch a bit of conversation with God.
The most common defense we encounter from such people, whether casual acquaintances or good friends, is the “holier-than-thou” accusation. Such attempts to change the focus from the sinful action or words of the other to us can be countered by simply admitting that the Holy Spirit has given us the gift of the revelation of what our Creator has planned for human life. Or we can admit our own failure to live the holy lives we want to at every point and thank God for providing forgiveness and new life.
We dare not forget that we are asking for and urging a sacrifice from those whom we confront with their corrupt ways of behaving For the sins to which we are calling attention are part of the framework for life they have constructed. A co-worker in the days when I earned tuition in a meat-packing plant could not utter a sentence without recourse to filthy and harsh language, alienating himself from his colleagues with his offensive behavior. He had, in all likelihood, never heard English in any other form, and his parents had held the family together with words that imposed their will rather than opening opportunities for him to express himself in positive ways. For John to change required more than just a recognition of what was separating him from co-workers. He needed understanding Christian conversation and sensitive Christian modeling. Chance encounters do not give us the opportunity to take on such challenges, but they do create the possibility that this casual acquaintance questions his or her own practiced way of behaving. Through casual comments as well as thoughtful discussions the Holy Spirit puts together His program for the conversion of individual sinners, for their transformation into people of faith in Christ.
The courage to confront family members or friends involves first judging when and how to call attention to their need for repentance. Second, we need to assess what kind of commitment we can make as an effective part of what the Holy Spirit may do with our witness. Especially with family members or friends, we may be swept up in the plans of the Holy Spirit for the conversion and transformation of those with whom we have had the courage to utter a chirp of warning that leads to repentance. If the other person takes seriously what we have said, it indicates a level of trust and respect that provides a basis for further conversation. Such trust and respect form a solid foundation for listening further as the Holy Spirit uses the believer as His instrument for cultivating faith in the family member or friend. That person may already be a fellow believer who needs help in overcoming some particular sin. In other cases, this person may not yet know Jesus as Savior and be on the path to learning to recognize Him as Lord.
The privilege of being a tool of the Holy Spirit in bringing the Gospel to others and especially in building and preserving the faith of family members and friends brings blessings beyond anything we can anticipate. The opportunity can become costly as we experience rough sailing in our relationships with those close to us. Nonetheless, it reaps great rewards, both in deepening relationships and in sharing in the growth of trust in Jesus that comes when we realize and act on our need for repentance. Through our own repentance and through the repentance of those whose faith struggles we share, we come to know how the Holy Spirit works and how precious our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, really is.
