For We Do Not Know What to Pray for As We Ought

Johnny liked church pretty well except for the Prayer of the Church, which always seemed way too long. One day, when his father had invited the pastor over for dinner, Johnny’s father asked the pastor to say grace. Johnny cringed a bit as he smelled the delicious food on the table and prepared himself for another long prayer from the pastor. To his surprise, the pastor’s prayer was short and simple. Johnny said to the preacher, “You sure pray quickly when you’re hungry.”

St. Paul writes, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words” (Rom. 8:26-27). What is the weakness St. Paul has in mind? It is that “we do not know what to pray for as we ought.” Why don’t we know what to pray for as we ought? There are several reasons. We don’t know what the future holds. We don’t always know what our real needs are. We don’t always know what the Lord’s will is. We don’t always know what is best for us. And sometimes we feel like we have to say it just right. 

Garth Brooks croons, “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.” While there is truth in that statement, no Christian’s prayer ever goes unanswered. Sometimes, the answer is simply “no.” Think about some of the times you asked your parents for something when you were young and perhaps threw a fit, and they said no. Perhaps they wouldn’t let you sink your college fund into a car. Perhaps they wouldn’t let you have that pony that would have given your life true meaning. Perhaps they thought a tattoo or piercing might not be appropriate for your age, especially since you were eight. I don’t know what is on your list, but I know we can all devise a decent list of things we can now laugh about in retrospect. And I would wager that most of the times we asked for these things, we didn’t say, “Mom, I want this,” but, “Mom, I need this.” Our request certainly didn’t go unanswered, but it did receive a wise and loving “no” because cars don’t give degrees, ponies eat a lot and make a mess, and tattoos of our favorite cartoon hero do not age well. 

My grandmother struggled with dementia for years. While I think the disease was a blessing in the end because she remained happy in situations that would crush a person fully aware of things, I will never forget what I had the hardest time accepting. My grandmother, with whom I spoke often with throughout my childhood, was now almost impossible to understand. She would say words clearly, but they wouldn’t make sense in the order and context she said them. Eventually, she would get frustrated and just sigh and laugh. She could not get her point across. Sometimes, however, my dad could understand what she wanted. That always amazed me. Either way, in that sigh and laugh, I saw the grandmother I knew, even if I didn’t fully understand her words. 

Why does the Spirit intercede for us? Because we are “the saints,” that is, the ones made holy through the Son. We are members of the family of God, and the family of God speaks its own language, of which the Spirit is the very tongue, granting power to God’s Word to us and granting intercession in our words to God.

Sometimes, we get prayer dementia. We can’t remember what we were going to pray for, we can’t put the words together, and, frustrated, there is nothing we can do but sigh and groan. But at times like that, amazingly, the Spirit understands us, and he intercedes for us with the Father through the Son. The entire Holy Trinity works together to turn our babbling into the sweet aroma of incense in the nostrils of our loving God. St. Paul writes, “And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Rom. 8:27).

Why does the Spirit intercede for us? Because we are “the saints,” that is, the ones made holy through the Son. We are members of the family of God, and the family of God speaks its own language, of which the Spirit is the very tongue, granting power to God’s Word to us and granting intercession in our words to God. We are members of the family of God, and before and after a family sits down for its Meal, it talks. Talk to your Father through the Son, thanking him for his blessings and bidding his help in earthly trials. Talk, and when you can’t come up with the words, or they come out in discombobulated order, know that the Spirit makes sense of them for you. He sees to it that your needs and hopes never go unheard before the throne of God the Father, who has loved you by giving you his only Son and granting you his Spirit through the gospel. Because of these gifts, God now groans with you and talks for you in prayer to himself when your lips can’t express the thoughts and fears of your heart. Talk to your Father, and don’t worry if you stumble over your words. A parent patiently listens to his or her toddler as they learn to speak, and your Father will patiently listen to you. Talk, and the Spirit will do the rest.