Over the next few weeks, we will be releasing excerpts from Donovan Riley’s new book, “Withertongue Emails,” which will be available on March 15th. Here is the second installment.

A reminder to the reader that this is a satire. It is a darkly humorous look at the trials and temptations of a young pastor, who represents every pastor at some point in his ministry. But, in my experience, every Christian will relate to what they read herein because, for every hour of our life, we are attacked. We are chased and hunted down by Satan's agents. And if God did not intervene to strengthen us to withstand temptation, we would be quickly overcome and ruined.

So each email entry in this book is intended to compel the reader to stop and think about their pastor, themselves, and their churches in light of the dangers and temptations which every Christian must bear.

Subject Line: First the shepherd, then the sheep

My dear Filthpit,

Your young pastor believes his life is a burden and the lives around him are tragedies. He is effectively finished. I doubt he will last another month at this rate. Your attacks have been more successful than I imagined possible for a demon of your limited abilities. Your young pastor has distanced himself from colleagues. He dismisses them as old fools and vilifies anyone who undermines his ambitions. He sneers at tradition. His emotions have conquered his judgment. He cannot comprehend that he is a tragic case. While others cling to their prayers and hope, his soul continues its downward spiral into our Dark Lord's infernal kingdom. Push your advantage, Filthpit. Double your attacks. Once you have secured victory, we can use your young pastor as an instrument of damnation for his whole church!

Your proud teacher,


Professor and Chair, Department of Pastoral Abuse

phone: (666) 738-1318 ext. 3721

email: tongue.wither@gehennaseminary.edu